Presidential Loophole

So you thought you had good grounds for the impeachment of King George Bush, did you? Lying. Incompetence. And worst of all, violation of his oath of office.

Well, here's the bad news: George W. Bush has not violated his oath of office. I know, I know... you're hoping that I don't know what I'm talking about. Unfortunately, I do, but I want you to know that I feel as badly about this as I'm sure you do. But let's walk through the evidence together, shall we? Here's the oath of office King George swore upon assuming the office of President of the United States:

I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States.

There. Do you see the problem? The exact phrase is to the best of my ability. A loophole big enough to drive a truck through. Or even a mobile bioweapons laboratory. The best of his ability. Let's have a show of hands. How many of you think that George W. Bush isn't a moron?

(hmmm.... one... two... no, wait; that person's just stretching... ah, over there! two, three...)

I count three, and it looks like one of those three is Neil Bush. Wait... the other two are Barbara and Jenna!

So there you have it. Dubya really is preserving, protecting, and defending the Constitution to the best of his ability. God help us all.