Thursday, September 30, 2004

Bush Administration Solves Iraq Problem!

The Bush Administration, faced with unrelenting bad news from Iraq, applied all of its brain power, know-how, cunning, resolve, and strategery, and came up with the ultimate solution: It banned the release of the bad news! Read the story here: Concord Monitor Online and remember: What you don't know can't hurt you!

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Cheney Opposed War in Iraq

Guess who's opposed to the war in Iraq? Dick Cheney! Joel Connelly, of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, dug up a speech that Cheney gave in 1992. (Cheney was the Secretary of Defense during the first Gulf War, and was integral to the decision to end the war without going to Baghdad to get Saddam Hussein.) Read the article for yourself:

In the Northwest: Bush-Cheney flip-flops cost America in blood

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Bush Campaign Signs Hermann Goering as Campaign Advisor!

"...the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

Hermann Goering

Friday, September 10, 2004

Chivalry is Alive and Well!

Here we see a splendid example of the care with which Fine Upstanding Republicans treat those with whom they disagree. Note how the gentleman carefully anchors one hand on the young woman's back, for maximum leverage, while sharply pulling her hair with his other hand.

Yahoo! News - Top Stories Photos - AP

More Proof the Economy is Blazing!

Vice President Dick Cheney says the economy is doing great. How does he know? Simple! Folks are flocking to e-bay to sell their stuff!

One has to wonder, though... if people have to sell their belongings just to survive, how well can they really be doing?

DNC: Kicking Ass: "Vice President Dick Cheney said that the nation's economic figures would be even healthier if the people who make money off eBay are taken into account. Cheney said about 400,000 people collect cash selling things on the Web site. And he said those numbers are being missed when the nation's economic data is collected."

Thursday, September 09, 2004

All You Need to Know

I believe this sentence, from a New Republic story by Ryan Lizza, says all you need to know about a son of privilege who never had a problem with getting someone else to do the fighting for him.

The New Republic Online: Two-Sided Story: "Not only did someone else get shipped off to Vietnam when Bush landed his Guard duty, but once Bush was bored with flying and abandoned his spot, a pilot returning from Vietnam was forced to replace him."

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Scotty the Contortionist

Here's the statement (thanks to wherein Scott McClellan suggests that we can best avenge September 11 by going out and killing lots of people who had nothing to do with it:

McClellan notes 1,000th American death in Iraq

Honor September 11 Victims by Killing an Iraqi!

In a statement acknowledging the death of the 1,000th American soldier in Iraq, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan sought to tie the war in Iraq with terrorism in general by suggesting that the best way to remember those who died on Septemember 11th was by killing Iraqis.

McClellan failed to offer any other alternatives, which left me in a quandary. Since I don't know any Iraqis, and since I really don't want to kill someone, I wonder if it would be permissable for me to become exceptionally sarcastic with someone of Irish descent? Or could I short-change an Asian? Cut a Mexican off in traffic? Perhaps I can give the finger to a Frenchman?

White House on thousandth U-S death in Iraq: "We remember, honor and mourn"

Bush Claims Deficit, Largest Ever, is Smaller!

As amazing as it may seem, the Bush administration has reacted to the record deficit projected for this year, $422 billion, by saying that "the strengthening economy is helping to bring down the deficit."

You may blink now. Yes, Mr. Bush now has the temerity to claim that the deficit -- the largest one in our nation's history -- has somehow been "brought down." Anxious math tutors around the world are hoping for the chance to explain to Mr. Bush that when a number becomes larger, it has not been "brought down." It has, in fact, been increased, which can also be described as "brought up." That is to say, larger is bigger. More is not less. - Money - Record $422 Billion Deficit Projected For This Year

Monday, September 06, 2004

Brave Young Republicans

So... What kind of person kicks a person -- especially a young woman -- while she's being held on the ground by three burly security people?

A Brave Young Republican Lad, that's who.

Here's a link to WABC-TV's video of this fine human being demonstrating good ol' Republican Family Values.

Friday, September 03, 2004