Pat Robertson Says We Should Kill Chavez

Pat Robertson, who has already asked The Almighty to strike down one or more members of the Supreme Court, is now advocating the assasination of Hugo Chavez, the democratically elected President of Venezuela. The problem, you see, is that Venezuela has oil. Lots of it. They're the fifth-largest producer of oil in the world. And America consumes one-fourth of the world's oil. Fifth, fourth... these words both begin with the letter "F!" That, my friends, is what people like Pat Robertson like to refer to as "a sign from God."

Anyway, Robertson is concerned that Mr. Chavez, who has been somewhat unhappy with the Bush administration's attempts to remove him from office, might decide to sell us a little less of his country's natural resources. And so Pat Robertson said "We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability." (See here, here, and here.) Mr. Robertson failed to indicate how his position differed from that of Mohamed Atta, who used a similar argument to launch a series of suicide attacks on September 11, 2001.

God, when reached for comment, shrugged sadly and passed out photographs of the tablet on which the Sixth Commandment is inscribed.